Resolutions
by SammysGrl2008
Summary: Abby and Gibbs are in love with each other, but the other one doesn't know. Song fic. lol
1. What the Hell

What The Hell - NCIS FanFic

To me, this song totally fits Gibbs and Abby. Yes, it is a song fic. NCIS is owned by CBS/Belsarius, and What the Hell is owned by Avril Lavigne. All Rights Reserved.

Abby sat in her apartment, watching the rain out the window on a lonely Saturday afternoon. Not even the best of the gore sites on the internet could distract her, and she felt strangely depressed. She wasn't even intrested in going for a Caf-POW! and seeing what McGee or Tony or Ziva were up to.

She stood up, her stocking-clad feet pattering across the floor to her CD player. Her brother and niece had been over for dinner last night, and her niece had left her one of her CD's to listen to. She popped it in, put it on random, and went back and sat back down.

A couple songs played through, and she didn't pay them any mind. Then, one with an upbeat tempo started playing and Abby listened. It fit her so well right now, that she went over and turned up the volume and restarted the song, laughing as she danced to it.

_You say that I'm messing with your head_

_All cause I was making out with your friend_

_Love hurts whether it's right or wrong_

_I can't stop cause I'm having too much fun_

Abby realized she DID have fun everyday with him. Some of the best times in Abbyville were when he came down to the lab with a Caf-POW! for her and a coffee for him, and they sat around discussing different theories about evidence and such things. It was fun, just like when she was with McGee, but it was different. Fun and relaxing.

_You're on your knees_

_Begging please_

_Stay with me_

_But honestly_

_I just need to be a little crazy_

She thought about before they had left the lab yesterday, how he had asked her if she had wanted to hang out. She had declined, and wondered if the hurt she had seen in his eyes, the disapointment, had been mirrored in hers. She wanted to be more then friends, and if she was alone with him, rule #12 might become a problem because she did not honestly know if she could hold herself back. She could imagine him getting on his knees and begging her to come with him, but she honestly didn't know how he felt. Abby thought that sometimes he acted if they were closer, but then other times he didn't. It was so confusing to her.

_All my life I've been good,_

_But now_

_I'm thinking What The Hell_

_All I want is to mess around_

_And I don't really care about_

_If you love me_

_If you hate me_

_You can save me_

_Baby, baby_

_All my life I've been good_

_But now_

_Whoaaa..._

_What The Hell_

Abby wondered, honestly, what would happen if she did say what the hell, if she decided to give in to her heart and try to tell him how she felt. Would he be accepting of it? Would he hate her for the rest of their lives? Would he not feel the same, and they still go on as if nothing had ever happened?

_So what if I go out on a million dates_

_You never call or listen to me anyway_

_I'd rather rage than sit around and wait all day_

_Don't get me wrong_

_I just need some time to play_

She then thought about all the dates she had been on, all the men that she had tried to match up to him. They were meaningless, she realized, when all she had wanted was him all along. This realization made her stop dancing around the room and think more. Would those other relationships that he had also meaningless to him, as he was searching for the right one?

_You're on your knees_

_Begging please_

_Stay with me_

_But honestly_

_I just need to be a little crazy_

She had that happen before, with others and Abby knew that the last thing she wanted to seem to be was desperate. She could see herself on her knees, begging him, but maybe not vice versa. She wanted to be with him, but there was also a small doubt as to wether or not she could remain true to herself. She knew that was stupid; she knew that. He loved her for her. He told her so on many occasions, but that 'I love you' was like she told her brother or niece or best friend. Well, he WAS her best friend (IS, she thought), her confidante, the only one he really trusted 100% outside of work.

_All my life I've been good,_

_But now_

_I'm thinking What The Hell_

_All I want is to mess around_

_And I don't really care about_

_If you love me_

_If you hate me_

_You can save me_

_Baby, baby_

_All my life I've been good_

_But now_

_Whoaaa..._

_What The Hell_

Even if she did tell him, she wondered if it would be worth it. Would he think back and think that she was trying to replace or make him forget someone else? That was the last thing she wanted. All Abby wanted was for him to be happy, with or without her. He lived a lonely life, well, maybe not lonely but he was alone a lot. She didn't care if he hated her or loved her... she just wanted to be with him no matter what, as friends or whatever.

_You say that I'm messing with your head_

_Boy, I like messing in your bed_

_Yeah, I am messing with your head when_

_I'm messing with you in bed_

She sat and thought too, would a potential relationship even escalate to more then just love? Would that be messing with his head, the fact she wanted to love him in so many different ways, as well as show him that love physically? She knew he would be a gentlemen, as he always was, and she would be the wild one to compliment his wild side.

_All my life I've been good,_

_But now_

_I'm thinking What The Hell_

_All I want is to mess around_

_And I don't really care about_

_All my life I've been good,_

_But now_

_I'm thinking What The Hell_

_All I want is to mess around_

_And I don't really care about_

_If you love me_

_If you hate me_

_You can save me_

_Baby, baby_

_All my life I've been good_

_But now_

_Whoaaa..._

Abby put her boots on, and grabbed her coat. _What The Hell_! she thought, and opened the door as the last few bars of the song played. The CD player had turned off with the light she had switched off as she left. She decided it was time to tell him how she really felt, and though there were butterflies in her stomach and she was nervous as hell, She was going to do it and she would hold her head up no matter what his response was.

_What the hell!_


	2. Angel

Chapter two - Angel

disclaimer - once again, NCIS is owned by CBS/Belsarius, and Angel is owned by Sarah McLachlin. All Rights Reserved.

_Spend all your time waiting_

_For that second chance_

_For a break that would make it okay_

_There's always some reason_

_To feel not good enough_

_And it's hard at the end of the day_

Gibbs had turned the radio on low hours ago, as he spent time in his basement working on his boat. This one was for someone very special. He thought of her everyday, but though he was sure of his feelings for her, he had no clue how she felt about him. Lonliness waited every time he walked in the front door of his house, ever silent without his wife chattering to him about something or the other or his daughter's laughter. He wished so hard, everyday, for a second chance at that. No one would ever take the place of Shannon and Kelly, but maybe with the one he thought of all the time, he could have a reason. _Maybe he wasn't good enough_, he thought, _but goodness the days were so hard to go through._

_I need some distraction_

_Oh beautiful release_

_Memories seep from my veins_

_Let me be empty_

_Oh and weightless and maybe_

_I'll find some peace tonight_

He sighed and set down his hand tools, listening to the song for the first time. He had never heard it before; this strange and soothing melody. He DID need a distraction from her. He loved her, loved every moment he spent with her, but sometimes the memories of what they had and the memories of Shannon and Kelly seemed to intertwine. What he and Shannon had was special, nothing would replace that. The two women were different as day and night... Sometimes he imagined a life as he'd had with Shannon with her. His night angel, so bubbly, ever optomistic. But mostly, he wanted to forget about what he couldn't have, keep rule 12 in play. Maybe then he would have his peace.

_In the arms of the angel_

_Fly away from here_

_From this dark cold hotel room_

_And the endlessness that you fear_

_You are pulled from the wreckage_

_Of your silent reverie_

_You're in the arms of the angel_

_May you find some comfort here_

He wondered what it would be like, truly, with her. Would they sit up late, talking about everythng as they usually did at work? Would she still reach for his hand in need of comfort? Gibbs thought it was highly unlikely that anything like that should happen, that she should share the same feelings as he. Oh, how he wished though... Then maybe he could fly away from the endlessness and have something good to come home to, a better reason for living other than his job. That would give him comfort he so desperatley craved.

_So tired of the straight line_

_And everywhere you turn_

_There's vultures and thieves at your back_

_The storm keeps on twisting_

_Keep on building the lies_

_That you make up for all that you lack_

He thought of the last time she had been here... She had been trying to stay away from someone who was so intent on hurting her. McGee had tried so hard, and had done well, but Gibbs felt an intense need to protect her. His emotions were always twisted about her, first thinking of her as a friend, then a lover, then a wife... She was his only true friend, though he trusted all of his team 100%. His mind kept telling him lies about how he didn't deserve to be happy, that she would never love him more than she did now. All the people that tried to hurt him... what if something happened and he never knew how he felt?

_It don't make no difference_

_Escaping one last time_

_It's easier to believe_

_In this sweet madness_

_Oh this glorious sadness_

_That brings me to my knees_

Thinking he better give this up before he gave into the tears again, he went upstairs, sat on the sofa with a beer and stared at the picture of her and him on his phone, smiling together. He wanted to get drunk, escape once more into an oblivion where he didn't have to worry whether or not Kelly and Shannon would approve of her, or of him remarrying. He knew they would want him to be happy... wouldn't they? Yet, he had only thought of there approval for her, and of no one else. He fell to his knees, leaning on the sofa, wondering what he was gonna do. _It's madness to think she would accept me at all,_ he thought with a tear sliding down his cheek which he angrily wiped away.

_In the arms of the angel_

_Fly away from here_

_From this dark cold hotel room_

_And the endlessness that you fear_

_You are pulled from the wreckage_

_Of your silent reverie_

_You're in the arms of the angel_

_May you find some comfort here_

_You're in the arms of the angel_

_May you find some comfort here_

"No," he said out loud, setting his drink down and getting up. "I'm gonna tell her. Even if she doesn't accept this love or how I feel, I'm gonna tell her." He knew it would kill him if she rejected him, but he had to try or he would never live with himself. He wasn't a coward. "I'll tell her now."


	3. Resolutions

Gibbs was scared. The times he was could easily be cooped up as a handful of times, mainly a few moments when he thought one of his team members was dead or someone was after someone he loved. Two of those people lay in the ground, cold and lifeless. _Shannon, I've never thought about how you would feel about me remarrying... I know we had that discussion before I left once, on active duty_, he thought to himself. _Kelly, they never even let me see you before they cremated your body... said it was best that way. Would you approve of her? Would you, Shannon?_

He raised his hand, ready to knock on the door when it opened in front of him. Abby looked as if she was about to go out; maybe it wasn't the right time. His heart sank. She was so beautiful, dressed in her black pants with the chains and the black shirt with the skulls... He loved her so much, and his heart felt like breaking.

Abby looked surprised. Neither said anything for a moment, and Abby couldn't figure out why Gibbs was dressed up like he was - a spiffy new polo and khakis, hair combed nicely. She felt her heart beating fast. _Does he know how I feel, and came here to say something? _Abby thought.

It was Abby who broke the silence. "I was just going to go to your house, Gibbs," Abby said nervously. "I need to talk with you."

"I wanted to talk to you too, Abs," Gibbs said, his voice gentle through the slight tension in the air.

"Come in then," Abby squeaked. "You want some coffee?"

"I brought some," Gibbs said, holding up a coffee and a Caf-POW! as he sat down with her on her sofa. He handed her the caffiene laced drink and Abby took a drink greatfully. It was a regular size, not the extra large she was used to, but it would help calm her nerves.

Neither of them said anything for a few moments, just enjoying each others company and trying to figure out what to say. _I can do this, I can do this,_ Abby thought, but she was scared. She didn't realize she was crying quietly until Gibbs reached over with a tissue and silently wiped away the tears that fell, holding her close in a way that he had his own daughter several times. After a few moments, Abby regained her composure and began to talk.

"Gibbs, I want to tell you something," she began, still holding his hand in her own. She could feel his inner strength seeping into her through this link, and it helped her say what needed to be said. "I..." She looked up at him. "I... love you."

"I love you, too, Abs," He said, taking her other hand. His heart seemed to jump in his throat. _Does she mean..._ he thought, unsure of what she was saying.

"No, boss man," Abby giggled slightly, but it was forced. "I mean I love you. Or rather, I'm in love with you. I don't know how or why or when it happened but I've been feeling like this for a while and I don't know what to do about this because of rule twelve, you know, or even if you feel the same way, I just -"

She was silenced by Gibbs putting a finger to her lips, sushing her. She was used to the action so her reaction was automatic. "Abby, you just don't know how that makes me feel," He said, squeezing her hands. He paused, searching her eyes to see if she would resist, then pulled her to him and kissed her.

It was a kiss of fear and happiness, of release and passion, of two friends falling even more deeply in love then either of them could imagine. It was both simple and complex, and when their lips parted it was because air was so desperatley needed. To Gibbs horror, Abby was crying again.

"I'm sorry I'm crying," she said, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. "I'm just so happy, that you finally know and by some miracle you love me too."

"How could I not, Abs?" Gibbs said. "I've loved you since the moment I met you, I was just too afraid to say anything because I am fifteen years older then you. I didn't think you would want someone older, like me."

Abby pulled him close, needing to feel his arms holding her tight, protecting her. "Not want you? The only thing I was afraid of was you not wanting me, because I'm so intense and crazy," she replied. He kissed her again, but this time it deepened into something even more.

They sat up late, that night, discussing their future together and how they would keep this a secret at work. It was so good to finally have a resolution... one that had been forever, it seemed, in coming.


End file.
